My Damn World

The thousand mile stare. Wondering about things that were that never were. Seeing the past in the future the present today. The rage that wants control that will never be freed quietly lying in wait for the crack to freedom. The knowledge of what could be and what was and what might be but may not. The loss of the power. The desire for its' return and the fear it won't. The peace of solitude and the sadness therein. The darkness coming and the light to follow. The laughter, the life, the joy, the tragedy. Staring at nothing. Hearing nothing. Feeling everything........

Lately, I've seen a lot of ads for the Rosetta Stone language system. They even have a new one with Michael Phelps as the spokesperson! The testimonies are all in high praise of the product or course. However, of the many, many ads I have seen (and heard on radio), I have seen no one speaking anything other than English! Interesting......................Turbo Ghost

While listening to the radio early in the morning and hearing the local school closings, I remembered one of the great joys in life. SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SNOW!!
There was nothing quite like Mom coming in the bedroom and telling me school was closed for snow and just curling tighter into the quilts that lay on top of me and falling back to sleep in pure happiness! Then after an extra-wonderful sleep, calling all my friends and organizing a sledding party! Where I lived there were a couple of hills that intersected in something of a lazy "Y" formation. One friend lived in the crotch of the "Y" and would get out the water-hose and wet the roads down so they would freeze. Another friend's father would get out his 4-wheel drive and pack the rest of the road down so it would be perfect for sledding. We would build a big bonfire beside the road and there would be probably 15-20 kids on sleds racing and crashing all day! When you got cold, you stood beside the fire until the steam off your pants starting stinging your legs then you went at it again. Of course, that was back when we actually had snow around here. The last good snow we had was way back in 1993. I miss it greatly!

The polar opposite of that happened on the same morning I heard the school closings. While waiting for a load in my tractor, I tried to get some sleep while I had the chance. As I slept, I had dreams. Horrible dreams! The worst kind of dreams! I dreamed I was exactly where I was! AT WORK! I was at work dreaming of being at work!! Can there be anything more terrible!? It was a complete waste of a perfectly good nap! There's 2-1/2 hours I'll never get back! Turbo Ghost

This will probably be a very short post but,here goes.

If you have to have a disclaimer for your product, your product is crap! How many hours a day to we have to waste listening to the disclaimers at the end of commercials? "Tax, tags and title extra!" "Some side-effects may include nausea, diarrhea, vomiting and death!" "If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours, call your doctor! (only if my doctor is really hot!) If your disclaimer has more information than your product ad, you don't need to be selling your crap! Of course, this all relates to our society becoming a massive group of sue-happy, ignorant, babies! "I spilled acid on my face and it burned me! Why didn't they tell me acid would burn me?". "I put my hand in the fire and it hurt! Why didn't it have a warning label?". I guess it all goes back to my basic theory on life. "People are stupid!" If you don't believe me, look around you at any moment in your life and I'll bet you will find someone doing something stupid! If you don't see anyone doing something stupid, guess what......................
Turbo Ghost

How stupid do car dealers think people are? A better question might be: How stupid are people?

Every car dealership has the same damn add. "We'll pay off your trade no matter how much you owe!". Well, DUH! Sure! They'll pay it off and then you owe them. They get to drain your account for not only the price of the car they sold you but, for the car you GAVE them! They sell your old car for a profit then, STILL have you paying for it! I don't know which is worse, that they pander to our low mentality or that we fall for it!? Anyway, I just wanted to rant for a moment. I'm sure there will be others soon.
Turbo Ghost

Recently, I was driving my rig down the highway when out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a vehicle pacing me. I looked down and there was a pickup-truck with a young boy in a car-seat probably about 1-1/2 to 2 years old and his father who was driving was holding the boy's arm and pumping it up and down in the traditional "please blow your horn" motion. When I hit the air-horns, the boy went into an absolute seizure of joy! His arms and legs were thrashing and he couldn't possibly have grinned any wider! Although, I couldn't hear him I knew he was squealling with delight. It had been a bad day and that moment really helped.

The big question is: What happened to unbridled joy? When did we lose the ability to become overwhelmed with pleasure? Are we so jaded by life tragedies we no longer feel joy or have the individual moments become so commonplace we need more and greater experiences to elicit that pure emotion?

I rarely exhibit emotion. I am a very level, calm person. If I say something is good, that is a pretty high compliment. (I figure if God can create everything in a week and say it's "good", then, it's good enough for me) I do laugh easily at good humor but, not everything results in an out-loud burst.

I've found the only things that appear to bring out the joy in my life deal with power and speed and adventure. When I had my turbo-bike which had over 200HP, there was nothing like the feeling of pinning the throttle at over 130mph (on a closed-course with police supervision of course:) and having the front-end snap skyward! When I had my jet-ski, I spent more time out of the water than in. I loved to pass a large (the larger the better) boat and turn around and accelerate towards their wake and at the right moment, snap the trim up and pin the throttle and aim for the sky! I've been probably over 15 feet in the air on some jumps and loved every minute of it! I don't have any powerful vehicles at the moment but, my motorcycle handles well and I love pushing through the twisties rather quickly. My ultimate wish is to build another turbo-bike and go to Bonneville and attempt to set a record over 200mph in my class. I've driven 165mph before but, I want more.

John Denver spoke of the "Rocky Mountain High". I understand it completely. I love to be in the mountains surrounded by lands the way God made them. It is a feeling of joy yet, oddly calm and serene. I love to sleep in the woods and wake in the early morning when there is a cool fog in the air. I also had the opportunity to camp and ride off-road with an old friend of mine. It was a great weekend filled with both pleasant calmness and exciting thrills. Good times!

All in all though, I have yet to feel like that little boy again. Perhaps when I break 200mph I'll become the child again and they'll have to remove the smile from my face with a pry-bar!
Turbo Ghost

Here's a little technique I use to chill-out a bit after a hard day. Maybe it will help you. Step one: Take a damn hot shower! I'm talking about the kind that leaves you red when you're through! Stand with your back to the showerhead and let the water flow over your shoulders and down your back with your head hanging limp. Stand like this for several moments. Now do your regular shower routine. The really hot water will make you sweat. This will help clean your pores. After you finish with your regular routine, tilt the showerhead as straight downward as possible. Face the showerhead and bend forward at the waist so that your head is lower than your shoulders. Let the water flow over your head and only over your head. Breath through your mouth and don't let the water flow into your nose accidentaly. You may have to push your lips out like you are puckering up to kiss. Now, slowly start turning the hot water off. I like to do several quick adjustments so there is a noticable difference in the water temperature. Keep doing this until the hot water is completely off and the water is icy cold! By doing this, your body will stop the sweating without you having to put cold water on your body which would be uncomfortable. The cool moist air will feel great in your lungs and you will feel refreshed and energetic. Try it and let me know how it works for you!
Turbo Ghost

It was a cold fall evening on the graveyard shift. The few employees (myself included) had gone outside to move their vehicles to better parking spaces at the front of the building and to sit and smoke on the benches since it wasn’t allowed indoors. I was warming up my Virago 920 so I could move it closer to the door to allow the quickest possible escape from the hell called work. Another employee was also bringing his vehicle (a T-Bird Turbo Coupe) around to the front parking spaces. This was a car that was only brought out on the weekends and driven minimally. It was washed and waxed with a cloth baby diaper and was the pride and joy of a man who would later end up working for an auto-detailer. As the car rounded the corner in front of me, he opened up the throttle and spun the tires showing-off for the benchwarming crowd. Of course, I thought, “I can do that!”.I pulled my bike into the lane and straightened it up for a massive burnout. It should be mentioned that I was riding on Cheng Shin tires that would easily spin when cold just by applying a little throttle in first. A burnout would be easy from a standing start! I revved the bike several times then pinned the throttle and popped the clutch! As the front tire began its instant ascent to a vertical position, I had several milliseconds to think of an appropriate battle-cry that would fit the dramatic moment unfolding before everyone’s eyes. I chose the most-appropriate cry of “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA!” I’m pretty sure everyone was impressed with my vocabulary at that point and also with my near vertical position.

Now, I have never been able to ride a wheelie neither on a bicycle or motorcycle. However, the bike insisted I come along for the ride. So, through the grace of God and the incredible power of my sphincter, I decided to see where the bike would take me on it’s journey.The bike shot down the parking lot which was simply the road in front of the building with spaces on the left for parking and benches on the right for people which were protected by a curb that ran the length of the building. I of course was deep in thought as to what was the proper thing to do at this time. The first thing I thought of was to stop my battle-cry before it scared some of our younger and female employees. Having done that, I turned my attention to the task of reintroducing the front tire to the ground. The most obvious choice was to twist the throttle the opposite direction. This seemed easy enough except for the fact that my previously mentioned incredible sphincter power would not allow me to move forward enough to do so. So, I said “Ass, would you mind letting go of the seat long enough for me to let the throttle off a little bit?”. My ass replied, “I’m afraid if I do, we’re going to make an awful mess here!”. I said, “We’re just going to have to take that chance as we are going to run out of room soon!”. My buttocks agreed and released the seat but, luckily not their contents! I proceeded to release my death-grip on the throttle and the front end came back to earth where it belonged. At the same time, I felt the rush of relief from surviving my wheelie, the T-bird was backing into a parking space and was blocking the lane except for a 2-3 foot space between it’s front bumper and the curb which was right in front of the benches people were sitting on. I had two choices: One. I could try to fit through the space between the car and curb and pray I didn’t accidentally hit anyone or: Two. Try to slow down as much as possible in the few feet I had left and just hope I don’t die when I hit the car. I chose “two”. I locked up the back brake (I probably could have stopped in time now but, back then I really hadn’t put much effort into improving my braking skills) and slid broadside into the front fender of the car. I held on to the bike with my right hand and hit the hood with my other to keep from flying over it. I didn’t drop the bike and after the impact, the car stopped and I was able to move the bike away from the car. My leg was on the peg and between the bike and car when I hit but, was miraculously unharmed. The car suffered severe injuries however. The front fender was crushed and the inner fender as well. The hood had a hand-shaped dent that buckled it. The door had been dented in by the tail of the bike and the bumper was bent in against the fender. The bike had a dent on the front fender about the size of a silver dollar. I sustained no injuries whatsoever. How, I don’t know. My co-worker jumped out of the car and asked if I was alright. When he had been assured I was alright, he proceeded to berate me and my riding abilities with an unbelievable barrage of obscenities which were mostly accurate.

I had no insurance of any kind.

The only way I could get the money to pay for the repairs was to add on to the loan I had received to pay for the bike at Commercial Credit. Up until then, I had no debt except for the $2000 that I owed on the bike and that would be paid of in a few months since I was making large payments every month. The interest on this loan was 27.5%! That is not a typo. I borrowed the extra money and fixed the car. I was lucky he was a good enough friend that he didn’t call the police so there was no record of this and my license was not harmed. The result of this moment in my life that lasted all of 3-4 seconds was a debt that took me 10 years to pay off and kept me on the edge of starvation the entire time and a reputation that still haunts me occasionally at work with those who remember that night. The cause of this event was simple. EGO! I wanted to show-off and impress people. I definitely impressed them! My favorite comment though was “Ya know, that was a pretty nice wheelie right up until that T-bird!”.

The moral: Use your head! A few seconds of stupid behavior can ruin your life for years to come!

"My friends, you bow to no one!"

Those were the words spoken by Aragorn at the end of "The Return of the King" to the Hobbits. They made me cry.

What ever happened to honor? There is no trust in this world we live in. A man's word means nothing. There is no pride in a job well done or doing the right thing or helping others. Those who know me know where I stand. They know of all people, I am the one constant. I am always there when needed. The same can be said of those I consider my friends. This is one of the reasons they ARE my friends. I have many acquaintances but, only a few true friends.
There was a time when honor meant everything. Not just for men but, women also. I do believe it can be taken too far as it is in some countries. In some countries, it is an insult if you decline an offer of food and can lead to hostility. I think that is a case of not honoring your guests wishes. Honor must run both ways. There must be flexibility in all things. We have to respect the beliefs and feelings of others. We also have to remain true to ourselves. On the occasions when I have guests over for dinner. I make sure the menu will accomodate their preferences even though it is MY home. If a guest does not happen to enjoy what I have prepared, I am not offended. It is simply a differing of tastes and not a declaration of war.
We have become so centered on personal pleasure in this world, we have forgotten the pleasure of pleasing others. Perhaps, if we began focusing on pleasing others more, that pleasure would find its' way back to us!?
I know this is rambling a bit but, that's the way my thoughts flow sometimes.
Turbo Ghost